After yesterday, before tomorrow

Writing has to become naturally. Achieving that goal needs habits. Although I have the ways to blog every day now, I still don't do it.

Unexpectedly I was in the local MP's office already today, but we had different topics with the office staff, not with MP himself. Him I still will meet on Friday.

But the results after first two days of this week have even lessen my belief in bureaucracy here - seems like everything is so stucked in points, where it shouldn't be. So - some things are totally hopeless...

... yet other ones show even more promise than I had courage to believe in. Tens and tens of new different opportunities just pop out of nothing. Not out of nothing, but in a way that I haven't thought before. You walk on the street, eyes open, and then you see something, walk by and ... Stop! You look back, observe, think - and there is a new idea.

I used to think that as United Kingdom has so many people compared to Estonia, then pretty much everything has been done here already. In reality - it's much easier here to find any vacant spots on the business market, than it is in Estonia.

Strange...

Black Friday

No - I am not going to talk about the darkest day in online poker history, although I lost with it some dollars, too. I just love Fridays and I also like black color. So black Fridays are not so bad for me - especially when it's the 13th date.

My today's black Friday was quite successful: got few phone calls, printed out some important stuff for my little company, prepared for Monday's meeting in Barclays and hanged around the Burnley in this lovely rainy weather.

And my next week will be crazy. Getting my sweety (my laptop) back gave me new breathing and all things seem to fall into their rightful places now. Or at least they started their falling. So what to wait for me in the next week?

Monday starts with the appointment in Barclays, where I am going to open the account for my company. Then I'll have a meeting about the new logo creating project and I also hand over my first project - the design of the fliers.

On Tuesday I will be picked up by a guy from HelpDirect to take me to some place, where all my benefits' misunderstandings will be taken care of.

Wednesday takes me Nelson, the town I never was before. I will have a meeting there with Pendle Enterprise business advisor to look over my business plans. That meeting may help me to move towards my bigger idea about creating one world-shaking website. So to say...

Thursday is quite open, but I am sure I will fill that day soon.

And next Friday I am going to meet a local Member of the Parliament. It was not on my plans, but Phil - one of my saviors - thought it might be a good idea to meet him and tell him my story...

So I probably will see, what I will have at the end of the next week.

And yes - I got my first UK-located blanket today. I do have a chance to sleep under the blanket finally, two months after my arriving here :)

Living...

Back to the words after a little break. Reason of my being away was simple, although one might have thought, that this reason would help me to write even more.

First of all - my computer rules... After using all other PCs and laptops, getting back my own laptop was a heavenly experience. I am still thankful for all that help I got.

And I am a business owner from today. I was Sole Trader before, but today I founded limited company. By that company I will do my advertising and graphic design works here, in United Kingdom, and I am quite happy at the moment - I already have three smaller projects even before my website is ready.

BRIEST SOLUTIONS LTD - founded 17/10/2013

So all my free daytime I run around the town, looking for new oportunities, and at nights I am trying to figure out my own company's style. Some ideas I have, but I still need to work with them.

So - things look much better today than they looked a week ago. In one week I have accomplished half of my goals that I thought during all those unlucky weeks. And the other half looks quite reachable now.

Just for fun - trying to recall my skills...

Maybe now is the time to do some plans for the next 4 weeks?

1. Get enough income to visit my family - MOST IMPORTANT!
2. Get at least 8 new projects.
3. Start working with the "Bicycle" project, too.
4. Not to be hungry anymore :)
5. Write some good texts...

I think it's enough for now. If I accomplish all these, then things should be the way, they supposed to be one and half months ago.

Good luck for me!

Back to the roots...

Or back to the square one.

My dearest Katariina have told me past few years that maybe it's my nickname W. Hocares that have breaked me down on achieving some better results in my life. Not that I have used W. Hocares only for writing, I also used it in public to trying to get some personal projects.

She was right all the time. I just refused to believe it. How wrong of me?!

Several days ago I was writing some overviews about my business plans, I've came up here in United Kingdom during my desperate times. And in there I used the term "mavericks". So in my keyword explanation I tried to open that meaning for me. Here is what I wrote:

"Mavericks - After seeing "Top Gun" movie in 1987, Maverick became my nickname for some following years. Although I got to know the real meaning of that word only in 2004 (I always thought it was just the name), the meaning of it had carried me through all these years.

Unconventional people are often those who are able to carry out big changes."

And when I had written it all down, I looked again my calculations and plans, I started to think more about it.

I have been using W. Hocares, since I abandoned name Maverick. W. Hocares seemed more adult for me, more clever... Even the meaning of it - surely you English-speaking people have figured out the play of words there - who cares :)

At first it was thought as a way to describe my style of writing - I didn't care the political correctness or my texts' effect on people as long as I believed what I wrote and as long as I believed it was just. But as years passed, W. Hocares came out from creative writing and brought it's influence to my every day life. And the things didn't work out so well anymore.

In real life you have to care, if you want to be successful.

So - after this night of thinking I decided to put W. Hocares back where he belongs - to writing and only there. Now more W. Hocares in my real life.

Instead of it I call back the Maverick from the times, when I was young, invincible and successful in accomplishing seemingly impossible goals. I really need Maverick's invulnerable goal orientation and will to everything as good as possible.

It was few days back.

Today - forcing myself to believe in my old self - I already accomplished something, that may help me to move one. Something, that has been impossible last six weeks. Something that was impossible when I tried to do everything in an UK ways, but what worked in two days after I used Maverick's approach.

So - after all - there is hope for me again:)

*

And it is my son Oskar's 1,5 years birthday today. Not having the ability to gift him a Ferrari, or at least the Jaguar, I tried to use my skills to make him something else.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY LITTLE OSKAR!!!

PS As I didn't have my laptop with his pictures, I had to use the only pic I had of him - picture from my Estonian bank card.

Reaction

As I wrote in my previous post, Burnley has given me wish to write. Here is one short piece.

***

I really like to observe people's reactions. These are interesting. Each person is unique, and in this context, unique and nuanceful are also their emotions and the way emotions appear. Despite the fact that I have observed people and their reactions for years, I still find it fascinating.

The only thing that bothers me after all this time, is the predictability of the order how those reactions appear.

It does not matter - asking for a loan, proposal of marriage, whatever - it all comes in certain order, like from the tape, without any surprises. Sometimes I wonder if maybe the order is in human's genes, is it some kind of uniqueness of human thinking, that leaves them only one possible way to react. I know that animals act differently. I have read it, I have seen it.

Communication with people and it's predictability led me to boredom. At least until I started to check my theory in real life; to check if people really react the same. In every situation. Making a compliment to a lovely seller in the shop, giving flowers on the street to a total stranger, "asking for the cigarette" from a man walking out the bar. Yes - even the proposal of marriage I made to a girl I met barely month ago. And now I am engaged to a girl, I once complimented in the shop. Damned!

Are you really unable to differentiate?

*

I looked at him waiting for the reaction, hoping that at least this time it will be something different.

Surprise.

Of course he is surprised, I think contemptuously. Everyone is, if you're doing something they do not expect. "He's probably kidding" or "He's not serious" or some other thought like that passed his head, when he saw me and the nature of my act. So usual - especially if you are doing something unthinkable to a person, who is used to vegetate in the society's shore water.

Understanding.

Yes - I am not kidding and I am really serious about all this stuff, because I really want someone to surprise me. I really do not want to live with the boring knowledge that you all are so similar. But at the moment he only understands what I am doing.

For a second I drift away in my mind - would I myself do something different? Would my reactions be in some other order? Maybe I have the same, the biggest break of humans - the need to analyze EVERYTHING?

Fear.

Fear that comes from the understanding the unusualness of the moment. Not always physical fear, mostly it's a fear about it's own person that became surprised. Fear that arises from the same - this time a bit overplayed - ability to analyse, from the need to think and understand everything. Fear of ego being caught unexpectedly. Yes, I see that fear in his eyes. Get the f*** over it and go to the last step.

One American, or least student studying in American university described perfectly in his book, how badly can man behave using his thinking and desire to understand and explain everything: seeing an attacking lion a man should immediately flee or counterattack - the last, of course, in case if a man has something that may be used as a weapon -, because there are no other right ways to react; still, most of the attacks have the positive result for the lion, because the primary reaction is to wonder: "No way, that this sweet little kitten decided to attack me?!" Yummy!

But in his eyes I saw him coming to a reaction, which actually should always come first.

Reconciliation.

Accepting the situation, because only after you accept the situation as it is, you are able to respond properly. Any response would have been better than this standard surprise-understanding-fear order. He accepted the situation, but it was two seconds too late for proper respond. He should have responded right after my question to him.

"One second after my question I will cut your throat with this knife. What do you do?"

Run, fight, - for god's sake - make a joke. Respond, damn you! One second is a long time.

No. He surprised and started to analyze.

I pulled the knife from man's throat and wiped it clean with the tissue.

"STOP!!! POLICE!!!"

I froze.

I was surprised.

"How the hell the police got right here, in this very exact moment?!"

Inspirational Burnley

Those few people from the United Kingdom, who have read my blog posts about my being here, may have noticed already how much criticism I have done towards the UK. Maybe it's because of my unlucky adventures here... Well - that is the reason, to be honest. But I am not always like that.

As I have written quite long time, my experiences with journalism have shown me, that if you write about positive things only, you will lose your readers sooner or later, because - believe it or not - people do not like to read something that has no conflict in it. One of my good friends who also writes, had a great idea few years back - why don't we make a newspaper "Good News" and write there about good things and events. Sadly - this is not profitable, because no one is interested in reading only about good things. Just look around - even the greatest love stories written in all time, they all have conflicts, they all have bad events, that cause the reader to hold his/her breath, hoping that the heroes will survive and find happiness. And these stories are not read because of the happiness, but because of the thrill in these. Actually there are plenty of normal, real happy life stories in real life, where people meet each other, fell in love and live happily ever after, but there are very few who are really interested in reading about so lame and boring life events. Sorry!

I have even statistics for that. When I wrote some good articles in Estonian media, I got barely few hundred readers and 5-6 comments under the articles. But when I wrote about some topic in critical and sharply sarcastical way, there were more than ten thousand readers for an article and more than two hundred comments. Just for the information - in Estonia there is only 1,3 million people, of which Estonians are about 850 thousand only. So little math shows, that articles with good and happy text were read by 0,035 % of Estonian speaking population, while critical articles were read by >1,18 % of the same population. So it's at least 33,3 times more readers. Think about it! Actually my own blog in Estonian shows the same tendency. As soon as I touch some tender topics about society, the amount of readers and comments rise rapidly.

So - writing critical is a way to successful writing. There's nothing to do against it - people, readers are interested in things like that.

But what I wanted to say in the beginning that I do not write only about critical topics and in critical ways.

Last night I was thinking about the Burnely and I found this town really inspirational for me. Actually it started, when I stepped out from the library I was writing my last post, and saw some interesting and good opportunities here.

From the first day I came here, I liked that town. I like it's size, it's layout, it's people - except one bouncer. You know who I mean. And I also like the lanscape around the town.

All the Burnley have given me so many ideas, even so many new experiences, which may have been bad when they happened, but every experience is a lesson for future. But what is most important for me - being in Burnley has given me back my wish to write. I was struggling with that wish in Estonia lately, but now it's back and usually it means good thing.

If I am willing to write, I am ready and able to do almost everything I want.

Thank you, Burnley!

Updates about nothingness

Few days ago I had a hope that all those things will come to a happy end finally. Yes - I was happy on Monday. I was told that in few days all my applications will have a decision. So there came Thursday and today - I went to check things out and guess what? I just adore bureaucracy. As I am in public library now with quite slow internet at the moment and I need to check few things from the web still, I need to leave you, readers without details now, but I will do it later.

• Another funny thing is about police here. They stopped the investigation about my crime case with the next reason. I quote: "I have also called your supervisors but got no reply" Well - that is a real reason, on might say. In Estonia - there the crimes are defined by three levels depending of its seriousness to person. First degree crimes are crimes, where people get hurt (or killed, if their really unlucky). So it is quite hilarious, that police would stop the investigation of the first degree crime case only because key witnesses do not answer the phone. Especially when calls made are done under Private Number at the work time, when many working people cannot answer their personal phones and after seeing no number, they cannot even call back. Hilarious because I gave to police not only the phone numbers, but also the names, addresses and working place, that is literally two miles from local constabulary. And the police has cars. I know it - I've seen cars in police colors on streets.

Anyway - while disappointed in some things, I still haven't gave up my plans and I am still battling towards my goals: always looking for new contacts, new possibilities. Though it's getting harder and harder every day, I still find good people with a will to help me to find the means that would really start work to benefit us all.

Yes - life's hard currently, but I know it will get better. It cannot go any worse, anyway, so the only way is up.

• And finally about the national character or about language habits - I do not know exactly. Anyway, I do not find it troubling for me; I think it's another funny thing for me.

I got the message from the landlord today: "Hey! How are you feeling? Can you make (one little thing to help)?"

So I thought that I answer as I usually answer - that is how I really think, honestly: "Honestly - I am feeling totally down, but I can get you the (thing asked), when I get home."

Then came the answer: "Great Thanks"

WHAT THE HELL?! I was telling that I am feeling awful, and the answer comes like this. That is why I personally NEVER ask, how anybody is feeling or going or doing, if I am not really interested. Just because if I ask it and I got the negative answer, I feel kind of committed to help the person. And if someone answers me that thing are going really bad, I NEVER answer them that it's great. I feel sorry and if I cannot help, I at least try to comfort the person with words.

I understand that it's common politeness here in English speaking country to ask those kind of question, but I guess people have to be ready to hear the honest answers, too. Instead of it - my experiences show that people just ignore and make the face they didn't hear the answer. (It's like Death and some other characters in Terry Pratchett Discworld series - people actually can see them, but they choose not to see them because it's not a pleasant option for them.)

Though British people are considered as very polite people, and what they mostly are in my point of view, too, that part of their (and Americans too, of course) behaviour is extremely rude, non-polite. I know it's hard to come out of habits, but sometimes one has to.

So please - do not ask questions, if you are not interested in hearing the honest answers. And if you ask, reaction is usually waited accordingly.

techno

DHDZAU9FY62G

Little thing called bureaucracy

Written 12th of September

Not that every day is cloudy here, but there has been quite many lately. Actually I am already getting used to it. Not that Estonia has a sunny and clear climate. No.  But here you feel it with bones.

About my previous post. I do not like to complain much, I better try to do things better next time. Sadly, some moves I made, were not all wrong decisions made by myself.

Statutory Sick Pay - actually I do not know why, but I like the sound of it. What I don't like, is all the mess around it.

After first week of my sick leave I visited my employer's office and I was told that for getting the SSP I need to bring a note from my doctor, GP. Sure - I completely agree with that.

I went to the doctor, he gave me Statement of Fitness for Work with marked note: you are not fit for work. He also put me to cue for additional nose surgery, because first attempt of healing - by nose itself - failed.

Well, I took that note to my employer, where another man told me that they do not pay my SSP. So I walked to JobCentre, explained my little problem. Representative there was quite surprised and finally he gave me SSP1 form for the employer to fill. Adding with grim look, that probably it will work.

I took the SSP1 back to my employer (who supposed to have these forms in their office, but they didn't) and then I was told, that they do not need to fill it because they will pay me SSP and I will get my Sick Pay on Friday (that is tomorrow).

I was quite happy, because no income during past two weeks has a power to make you happy about every amount of income. So I danced - so to say - home.

Today I got some letters by mail and one among those surprised me. It was a filled SSP1 form my employers main office, saying that they will NOT pay my Statutory Sick Pay. Now I have to take these papers to JobCentre and, really, I cannot imagine, what twist may come out from there.

Either way - thanks for that wast of time and 25 mile walk through to solve that issue sooner, I still lost more than a week, because none at my employer really knew what they were supposed or not to do. It makes me both sad and mad. How can you keep up the business if your workers, who has to manage the issues of the employees, do not know the company's policy for usual situations like that?

Anyway - dance around the SSP is just one little part of this big machine of bureaucracy, I have heard about before from the British TV-series "Yes, Minister"

***

Now as the time passed by, it's 26th of September

... and still no Sick Pay or whatever. Not that I long for it, but it is part of the way I could pay up my late rent, not to tell having normal rations of food and so on.

But in a while another interesting topic has come to life. The Housing Benefit.

When I started running though all those institutions to get my Sick Pay, I also heard about the Housing Benefit possibility.

I repeat - I did not came to UK to look for benefits and easy life, but this one had certain reasons I thought, why I should apply for this.

I live in one room in the house that has 5 rooms with different households in every of them. So we share the kitchen and bathrooms and toilets and so on. And I am paying 85 pounds per week for that one room in this "clearly not finished house I mentioned before in my blog, but that is the whole topic for my next post".

We even did the calculations other tenants that our landlord gets about 1850 pounds monthly for this house. Clever businessman, if to think that the same type of apartments in this area cost approximately 270-360 per month.

Well - as I understood that I pay way above the fair price for my housing, I though that it's worth to try the Housing benefit option.

And trying that is.

Two week ago I gave in the application and now I am waiting for the result.

In a while - after I got back the SSP1 form my employer that I took to the JobCentre, I had to apply for the ESA - another thing that took more than 10 pounds of my phone credit. Don't ask why - I already know that I have lousy provider.

And after the two weeks of applying for two things the current situation is - as I understand it - the Housing Benefit decision is not made because they wait for the decision about the ESA that is not made because they wait for the decision about the Housing Benefit.

That is kind of funny to me. Maybe I have misunderstood or misinterpreted something, but it is still funny :) Sad, but hilarious. And stupid...

Everywhere where I have been and told about my family in Estonia, told that I have a loving wife and 1 year, 5 months old son Oskar there waiting for my support, everybody has asked when they will come over here.

They will never come over, that was never the plan.

And even if they would change their mind about it, I would stop them in making decisive steps towards that. I do not want them to come over here just because of the bureaucracy.

There is no way I will ever put my family to risk in a society where papers are more important than people, where one could die out of hunger before any decisions would be made because of the slow moving papers in case of any accident. So - I still like the United Kingdom for it's possibilities, but for sure not for the ways official things are moving here.

The world is in 21st century, you know, maybe UK should join it and use internet for moving information, not the snail-post (that is how we call old postal service back home). I actually have sent more letters by post here in the UK during last few weeks than I did in Estonia during last 15 years.

Too much criticism? Well - one might take the criticism as an offence and reply sharply than if someone like me does not like the way things go around here, someone may go back wherever hell someone came from. True that, I agree.

But smarter one may take criticism how it should be taken and learn from it - maybe there is really time to move on and try to make things faster and more efficiently.

Anyway - I just yesterday started to write and article about the same topic, and I would like to put its first paragraphs here.

*

One might say that papers needed to be done correctly because there are some many of those who want to take advantage of the social security network.

One might say that there are actually people who are living only of social benefits without giving anything back to the society.

One might say that those people are parasites weakening the social security network in its very basic economical levels.

One might be even right in most cases - the common "pot of soup" will be emptied finally when there are less those who put their share in, than those who eat from it without thinking how the "soup" got into the "pot" at first place. Parasites are not tended to think and look outside themselves. That is why they are called parasites.

But - one might go to hell in my case.

It is always so easy to judge people without bothering oneself with the facts, little details or the whole story. It is so easy to make the judgement out of the first glance.

"Hey, there's another damned immigrant moved into our country and there he is demanding the benefits already," cries one out of desperation about the immigration politics that allowed immigrants into the country at all.

Though that is not the topic I am interested in writing today, I still want to make a little remark about it - there weren't be so many in United Kingdom if local people were willing to do the work the immigrants are doing now. It is out of comfort zone for local people to hard work for lousy salary? Well, guess what - it's out of the comfort zone for immigrants, too, but at least they are trying something to make things better not only by crying about the politics.

Back to the main topic. As I said, one might go to hell in my case. By the way, not only in my case, but in more cases. Why?

Because even if there were 8 deceivers for of every 10 benefit applier, who and in what rights is the judge to let down those 2, who really need quick help, and to to it only because there may be someone out there trying to get a advantage of the same system?

I do not say that it is not fair, because fairness actually has no place in any social structure. I say that is not just, and justice is all that every system has to be based on.

*

I will continue writing this article and when it's ready, I will let you know it.

But my next post will be about my housing, my landlord, about trash, crack and about little poisoness mold. keep in touch! 

Deadline - How would you feel?

Today is my deadline day.

Meaning? 28 days ago I pawned my sweet laptop and today is the day I have to buy it out. Like for 332 pounds. Damn it! I do not have the money, I do not have the idea where to get the money for that. So - if to say it nicely - I'm f***ed!

The reason I took my laptop with me to UK was that I could find some personal projects with graphical or web design, to do some writing and so on. I have every program needed in my ASUS. Yes - it's still mine, but after 4,5 hours not anymore.

All kind of s*** has happened. Little good and tons of unpleasant ones.

Few days ago I wrote an essay about my current situation, and today, after I found out that I will not get my Statutory Sick Pay even in this week and all together it makes 3 weeks without any income... Well - after that note I decided to put my essay to my blog.

I will explain later the reasons, but for now - don't enjoy, just read.

/.../

How would YOU feel?

by W. Hocares

How would you feel if you came first time to United Kingdom and everything, literally everything had gone wrong?

After big promises at home you arrive to Manchester, you have precisely calculated amount of money in your pockets and you are ready to rock the world. You have left back home your wife, love of your life, and you only one year and three months old son in a hope of a better future.

After you arrive to your final destination, a little and seemingly friendly town not far from Manchester, where you supposed to have job and housing waiting, things start to go down – little by little.

Training cue is full at the work and you manage to talk yourself in when your freshly renovated house should be ready for moving in.

But it isn’t and you have to move away for some bed and breakfast that is fairly priced for your budget. Still – you didn’t count that expense back at home. And because of the location of that B&B you cannot go to work for training. Sorry – you could, but then your all your money would run out in two days for transport only.

So you’re staying for one week in the B&B and you’re spending your money eating outside because you do not have the kitchen where you could prepare your food yourself – with much cheaper costs.

Finally – after a week of waiting you return to this little town and you move into your clearly not finished house.

You manage to talk yourself into the next cue of job training – job training for the warehouse work while you have years of warehouse experiences from back home.

After the first training night you are told that you passed and all you have to do now is to wait until they put you into the work schedule and give you a call.

In a while you are trying to open a bank account but as you have no utility bills to prove your address and your interview for the National Insurance Number is weeks away, you fail. Even if you have three different identification documents for your person.

You are starting to feel a bit disturbed though you usually are most optimistic person.

And you ask: for who I need that bank account – for myself or for my apartment? My apartment does not go to work and it does not bring money to my bank account. I do that, but in the bank it feels like my accommodation is more important for the bank than I am.

So – after some days without the call from work you visit the office for enquiry and you find out that you haven’t done the second training. What the hell???

After calming yourself down you get the next training day few days ahead.

But still – no income and rent needs to be paid.

With heavy heart you pawn your really high-end laptop that even in used condition is worth more than eight hundred pounds, just for two hundred and fifty. Now you have a month to buy it back.

You pay your rent, you pass the second training and you will be waiting for another call about the schedule.

After a week you finally start working.

First salary you get for two twelve-hour shift is one hundred and twenty pounds. Your rent is eighty-five weekly.

Now worries – it will get better, you tell yourself while knowing that your younger brother had helped your family to pay their rent and food back home.

As there is little work to do at work, you get one hundred for second week.

It WILL get better!

At least you have proven yourself at work and your supervisors came to talk to you about taking you over from the agency to mother company. And even get some promotion because of your earlier skills and experiences. Just after five shifts. Nice!

Your supervisors ask you out for some relaxation the same evening. Yeah – you’re inside the circle already.

You have been in the club just for fifteen minutes when you go to the toilet. There is a security guy telling you something, but as you do not understand local accent well yet, you ask politely:

“Sorry, can you repeat that, please?” Well – you’re not sure about ‘please’, but you definitely were polite.

That damned frelling security should have thought that you were mocking him, because after totally unexpected punch you wake up in the hospital. With totally fractured nose and all you nice clothes covered with blood. Your supervisors had found you wondering unconsciously on the street and took you to Accident & Emergency.

Next day you call the police, you report the incident and day after that officer visits you at home, because you are too weak and too messed up for going constabulary yourself. They open crime case.

First week after assault you are staying home because it’s hard to open your eyes and even harder to concentrate your eyes.

In the beginning of the second week police officer leaves you a note that after checking the surveillance cameras they did not find any clues about the suspect and as the night club’s manager told that there were no incidents reported by the security, police has no leads to move further.

Sure – bathrooms have no cameras, but if there is a blood-covered man coming out from the club and security on the door does not report the incident to management, there has definitely nothing happened there.

If you ask the police about possible cover-up, they do not believe in that. Why would night club’s manager want to cover up something like this?

Really – why?

Maybe because admitting the incident would be bad for the club’s image? Maybe the incident would prove the unprofessional behaviour of their workers? Maybe the incident would even mean some fines for the club? I do not know that. I am new in United Kingdom. Do not ask me. But really – why cover up? It seems so impossible.

On the second week of your leave from work you realize that you have one week left to buy out your computer.

As you didn’t get paid for being sick and injured yet, you are starting to look out for some payday loans., only that you do not think about that as a fresh resident of the country you have no credit history and every credit check made my the loan providers lowers your credit score even more.

Now you have three days left to deadline.

Your landlord wants the rent because you haven’t been able to pay it last two weeks as you haven’t been able to work. And your doctor says you still cannot  work.

Even more – your doctor says that they have to break your nose up again because it has not grown together the way it should.

Your computer, your precious laptop is your essential working equipment as you are quite adequate graphical and web designer and a freelance writer.

And your wife calls that they need money for food and rent and diapers.

And least but not at least – you have only one pound left in your wallet and there is only half pint of milk in your freezer and you have no clue, when or where you get your next money.

Now, tell me – honestly – how would you feel after all that?

09/09/2013

W. Hocares

Back from the dead

Or at least back from dead silence. Much have happened since the last post, but I think I will not try to cover everything. It would take too much time and there are thing I need to clear for myself before I am ready to discuss these topics.

I have been in UK a bit more than a month now. I have moved into my apartment, made here some decorating work and relocated from a little room to a bit bigger one. At least now I have furniture that I chose myself and to be honest - the room looks much better now. Here I have to thank my lovely Katariina, who is professional interior designer. While living by her side I have picked up some basics about interiors and in result my landlord was amazed, what I did with my room with the same budget he used for every other room in the house. Of course - it's not ready yet. I need to do some finishing with paints and I need to find some nice-looking chandelier and floor lamp, but still - I already have stuff I missed most - recliner and desk. When everything will be ready I hope to find a camera to take some photos of my very first decorated-fully-by-me-room.

Little things that make me happy.

And yes - we have a Internet in our house. Quite fast one. But the break in writing was caused by some more prosaic reasons. I am having some problems with my laptop, but hopefully everything will be fixed within next week.

Work... Started my career once again from the bottom. This time as a warehouse operative. Though I have many warehouse experiences from Estonia - I have worked in stock control, been account holder and even the manager - UK have given me chance to do the most basic warehouse work what I haven't done yet. Not that I like it - my goals are a bit different - but it seems, that I have proven myself a little already and I've been told that there is a chance to get away from the recruitment agency and even for some promotion. So - not bad.

Social life... As soon as it seemed to start, I got into the trouble, that still affects my ability to work. More precise description about my nightly adventures comes to my blog later. That is the thing I need to clear out for myself first.

Salary... Really? Sucks. When I went to the meeting in Estonia, the one where I first learned about opportunities here in Burnley, we were told much different stories. Those different stories were the main reasons why I am here at all. I came here to earn some money - not only for myself but even more for my family - but earning money with my current salary is too optimistic use of words. You may call it survival. Maybe the possible promotion will fix that issue, I do not not.

But if to put it down simply - I came here carried by lies I was told back in Estonia and adapting with reality here was hard at first.

Yes - until today UK has given me more negative than positive experiences, but in other way that really bad start seems hopeful. Everywhere else my starts have been successful and endings have sucked. Here the beginning sucks, so there is a good chance that ending goes well.

I like my logic.

See you soon!

Time to move on...

People keep telling that smoking is bad and mostly I agree with them. But there are some aspects in smoking that are good and useful.

Half a year ago or so I worked in a transportation company that attended in our biggest tourism exhibition. In the first evening there was organized afterparty in some pub with food and drinks and everything. Of course I grabbed that chance, because finding new contacts was one of my main tasks at work.

Evening started slowly as do all Estonian parties. People from different companies sat in separate tables, sharing their thoughts only among the people they new. Even for me it seemed to be a bit strange just to stand up and start conversation with people from the next table.

But when I was in the smoking room, that was different - beside the tourism we had already second common topic - smoking - and from that base it was much easier to start conversation with people I never met before. And I also met one woman there who was not a smoker, but she told us there that she always hangs in parties with smokers, because smoking rooms or places are usually the spots, where most interesting stories are told.

Not that I am trying to promote smoking now, but just couple of minutes ago, when I went outside to do my damned last Estonian cigarette here, I saw that there was a lad sitting on "The Town Mouse" balcony, drinking beer. After I lit the cigarette, I noticed a familiar logo on his back - logo of the same company where I am doing my first steps in the warehouse. And so I started conversation with him.

 If I had been sitting in the room by the computer, I couldn't had that contact, but now Chris told me a bit of the company's background etc. And he also mentioned that there maybe a vacancy for my profession in the town, where he is from - in Accrington. We changed contacts. Probably in the evening I will already get more detailed information about the possible future.

And - lets be realistic! - even if it doesn't work out well, I still have a new contact around here, so that cigarette and my smoking habbit earned their existence once again.

Though I am trying to quit smoking now - cigarette prices here are way above my head here, in UK - I have to say, that all my contacts here except one (Stuart) I have made while smoking. Here, in The town Mouse, in General Havelock's pub and also in the street.

*

But now - why that blog entry title about moving on? Well- tonight is probably my last day in The Town Mouse's B&B and tomorrow I will get another accommodation finally - my one room I've been waiting for so long :)

Bad part of the news is that I will get Internet there only after week or so, but still - I can do some writin and cme here to upload it. Town Mouse's Internet is actually better and more stable than Subway one, that I used in my first days.

So - until then! 

Not back, but first time in the UK

Though this blog was not meant to be the blog about my daily life, at the moment it seems the best spot for my daily thoughts while I am in the UK.

So - another immigrant has come to UK to take away salaries from local people. I wouldn't say so...

First of all - I did not come here for good. If everything works out well, I'd be here year or two max. I would really like to pack my things right now and go back to my family with the next plane, but unfortunately that option is out of the table right now. Leaving now would put me to even toughest position than I was before, so sticking to my previous plan is the best way for me.

But why I wrote about immigration so soon, already in my first post? Simple.

On my fourth day here I was sitting in a little pub at the town edge of Burnley and I just got in the middle of the conversation, where one of the topics was immigration. The people talking about immigration had the view that the immigrants come here and take the jobs from the locals, offering the employers cheaper workforce.

I couldn't agree with that point more, especially as I have come to UK from Estonia, which workers have done the same in Finland and Sweden for years now. Yes, they are even here, in UK, and to be honest - I have come here the same way.

I will start my career here as warehouse operator for the minimum salary, because I need some fast and certain income for living here. But I really do not want to become stuck with that one job. I do want to do something better, as I have skills and knowledge that may become useful for local communities, also.

As I came here, I was promised that my apartment will be ready for moving in at the end of the last week, but it wasn't. And today is already Tuesday in next week, and it isn't ready still.

So I had to find myself a place to sleep until I finally can move in. So I found the little, cozy pub with B&B called "The Town Mouse". It's a really nice place with very friendly manager and I suggest everyone visiting Burnley to look out for "The Town Mouse", too. It's situated only five minutes walk from the town centre and also has a decent kitchen for the hungry visitors. But what is most important - the accommodation prices compared to the places you may find in TripAdvisor or anywhere else in Internet - well, prices here are better.

I do not do just an advertising here in my blog, but I needed to write it all down to describe better my previous text. And the point is that if I had found that kind of information about The Town Mouse before I got to Burnley, I could have save myself lot of money and nerves. But as this pub has no website of its own and it is hard to find some information from the Internet about it for the outcomer, so I did lose some money and nerves. For finding the Town Mouse I have to thank all the friendly locals in the pub called "General Havelock".

So now - as I have lost both money and nerves - I can explain the usefulness what I could and would like to bring to local community.

I come from Estonia, that is a quite high-end state in everything concerns IT and Internet. I am surely not saying that I am the best from Estonia or that I am widely licenced specialist, but I know my way around the Internet. I have built some websites before, I also have done some marketing - both in web and real life - and I have worked in and with advertisement companies, too, so I can put all that knowledge and experiences to work for the community I am living in at the moment.

For example - I am able to create a decent website for the same Town Mouse pub and B&B, do some marketing for it (that is actually not so expensive than people are used to think - you just have to discover or know the best channels and methods) and to get some living for myself for that. And in return - I believe - my work make the Town Mouse more visible for people outside the Burnley, which causes the simple following result - the B&B will have a wider market, will get more people staying here and also will have more clients sitting, eating and having fun in the pub. That creates more income for the people who work not only here, in the pubs, but also those around it. People who will come to Burnley because of the Town Mouse, will take a look around, too, and usually they spend their money in other places, too.

So that kind of projects I am looking for, are one-time incomes for me, but they will have a long-term positive effect on the local community.

And that is what I am here for... I didn't came to UK to steal local people's work. I came here to find myself chances that would benefit both me and the locals.

So if you have any ideas, how can we make it work, you may let me know either by email: lordofmagi@gmail.com or find me through the Town Mouse :)